The Tucker Max Experience...

So there I was...


I was drunk, in a movie theater, at four in the afternoon. Only one man could make that happen... Tucker Max.

For those of you who live under the pop culture rock, Tucker Max is the author of the New York Times best seller, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. He is 34 years old, and a self proclaimed ass hole. Who better to explain it than the man himself...

"I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead."

Tucker is not only an icon for college guys everywhere, as he tells stories of general male dubachery (sex, alcohol, etc.), but he's undoubtably smarter than the average asshole. He completed his undergrad in three years and graduated with honors, then topped his college career off with a law degree from Duke. Yes, that Duke.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell has spent the last four years on the NY Times best seller list, currently sitting at the number six spot. His second book, Asshole's Finish First, is set to come out in the fall of 2010. (click here for amazon.com and buy the books) He also started the message board rudius media.

But the thing that has defined my Tucker Max experience, is his movie, named and created after his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. Tucker wrote the movie with Nils Parker, the man who the character Dan is based off of. The movie stars Matt Czuchry (Tucker), Jesse Bradford (Drew) and Geoff Stults (Dan). The characters Drew and Dan are both based off of Tucker's friends, who he references in the book. The movie, well, as a movie, it was okay, the production was sub par, but it was still a hilarious movie. I was expecting a lot out of this movie, Tucker translates his stories so well on paper, and I was looking for big things out of his movie. The movie is no doubt funny, but I think in order to appreciate all that is Tucker Max you have to read his book and read his blog.

My high hopes and I wanted to make sure we got to see the movie as early as possible. Tucker and company did something really cool with the movie premieres, they set out on a tour and visited college towns all over the country the month leading up to the movies release date. My friends and I headed up to The Over-rated State University in Columbus, Ohio to check out the movie. The movie may not have been as epic as expected but the experience definitely was.

This is the movie's official trailer.

We arrived in columbus around 3:30pm, the movie didn't start until 7pm, so what better is there to do to honor Tucker and his first movie then get shit-housed? We went to the bar, which was so conveniently located in the movie theater lobby (got to love college campuses) and wouldn't you know it? The drafts were only $2! God was sending me a message saying, "Cassi, get drunk, and do it for Tucker." I complied. The bartender was buying us beers, when this young business man, Malik, who was at the bar with his office, came over and said the two dirtiest words in the english language "jaeger bombs". His office bought us a round... and then another. Malik started to get creepy after a photoshoot (see below), and out of the corner of my blurry yet observant eyes I saw a line forming in the theater lobby. I said goodbye to Malik, the bar tender and all the other office nerds in the bar and my friends and I stumbled our way into the line. I walk in the theater and there he was, Tucker Max standing right in front of me. He was so modest (as modest as Tucker Max can be), it was amazing. He really appreciates where he is and that is the coolest thing to see in someone as successful as he is. Anyway, before the movie got started Tucker wanted to hear some of the audiences stories, on his blogs, he claimed it to be "one of my favorite pre-shows so far", for being on premiere 18 out of 31, not to shabby. Anyway, the first stories belonged to one of my best friends, 'Jackie'... in the words of Tucker Max (from his blog on ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com) this is how her story came out:

-This girl starts telling her story, and she is clearly waster and during her story she says she hooked up with a dude in sweat pants:

Tucker: So you hook up with guys who wear swear pants out to bars?

Girl (aka Jackie): No, I dated him for a while.

Tucker: Oh, even better, you date those guys!

Nils: And then he got tenure...

Tucker: Right, then he went to a club in them and shot himself in the lef and the punchline is it was Plaxico Burress

[She keeps rambling pointlessly]

Guy in audience: NEXT!

Tucker: Seriously. Just because the mic is big and black it doesn't mean you have to hold it in your hand this long.

[Girl keeps rambling]

Tucker: I feel like she's just randomly putting shit together. These aren't sentences or thoughts.

Nils: You're like a giant refrigerator poetry magnet. You're just rearranging words.

Tucker: This is like drunken slut Mad Libs.

Girl: Alright, i'll hand the mic back to little dick over here.

Most girls would be embarassed to call Jackie their best friend, but, I am not most girls. I was laughing harder than anyone else in the audience. We listened to a few more stories and then they played the movie. I was excited, but that quickly faded, I mean, have you ever tried to watch a movie while you're drunk? It's like trying to take a nap on adderall, or trying to explain the fundementals of abstinence to a group of horny teenagers, you're never going to accomplish anything. The movie ended, and Tucker opened the floor to questions, and some how, I got the mic first. There it was, my chance to ask Tucker Max, the man, a question. I could have asked him anything, but my drunk self went with "So, Tucker, on a scale of one to ten how hard is it to fuck a midget?" Really, Cassi? Your hero of the written word is standing in front of you and THAT is what you choose to say? Life re-evaluation ensued. I was too drunk to even pay attention to his response. Anyway, got to meet him, take pictures, all that. He signed my book too.

Because I had followed the movie premieres so closely, I knew that the minute we stepped out of the theater, Bill Dawes, a comedian and extra in the movie, would be waiting with a camera to film our reactions. My friends and I did a series of drunken commentary but mine was the only one chosen. I'm right at the end of this following video, following the creepy father/daughter duo...

Yeah, that's me, right around 2:33 rambling like the wrong end of an AA meeting

It was a great experience, even if the movie isn't going to be winning any academy awards, it wins an award with me. I'll never forget the day I got to meet Tucker Max, even if I can't remember it.

Here are some pictures, the first are from Tucker's Flickr account, the others are from the pregame, yes, Malik makes a guest appearance.

Oh hey, that's me, asking the worst question possible.
Tucker and Me

The IHTSBIH tour bus
The men of the office.
That's Malik. And yes, I am impersonating Tucker. Epic.

GO BUY THE BOOK!